♥ says :
i'll stop now :)

Friday, November 24, 2017

Travel: Penang, MPS Conference

Hello assalamualaikum

let's get on with the series now shall we.

4th November 2017

It was my first official experience attending and participating in a conference while presenting my work for oral and posters presentation. SUPER nerve-wrecking. All i could think about the night before was how lowly i am to be presenting in front of all the professionals and experts, like who am i, am i even worthy of this experience. Thankfully at the end of the day, it was way beyond my expectation. Such a great experience, it definitely changed my perception of presenting at a conference. Instead of being intimidated and feeling down, its actually an uplifting sharing session where we will actually get tips to improve our study or some brilliant inputs from experts. Or at the very least we get to share the knowledge with people of the same interest. On top of that, i was lucky enough to have the chance to communicate with great people in the pharmaceutical field. Also had the chance to share the struggles with students from other universities.

All in all it was a great eye-opening experience with a hint of socializing *winkwink

The end

Wednesday, November 15, 2017

Random rants: tears

It's really hard to keep tears from falling
It's like something's stuck in my throat
I want to explain why I'm sad but it doesn't come out in words.
So the tears fall at last, cause only that explains my feelings best.
Discovery after discovery,
Being treated and tested this way,
It pushes me way beyond my limits.

I can't pretend to be strong all the time
I guess people don't take me seriously.
I put my heart out, i make myself vulnerable, 
which are things that i can hardly do.
Most of the time, I'm superficial, 
i don't let people near me beyond what i let them see.
I talk a lot as if I'm sharing a lot about me, but no. 
I'm just talking about superficial things.

Going deeper takes great effort.
I am super insecure, so not many people know me in and out.
Yet, no matter how many times i try to put myself out there, 
ready to build a bridge of trust, 
everyone else just tears it down easily.
Seeing that bridge falling to pieces, 
the bridge that took my utmost efforts and sincerest emotions to build torn down.

It hurts.
Hurts to the points of tears.
Why me?

Ya Allah, I'm sorry for being weak. Help me see the reason behind these tests. 
Help me rise from this and be a better person. Only in you i trust.

At the end all i can say is
"I know i am not your favorite chapter in your written book, but i hope you can sometimes smile when you flip through the pages that i was still apart of"

the end.

Sunday, November 12, 2017

Travel: Penang, Food Haven

Hello Assalamualaikum

Last week i went to Penang for a conference, which was actually only on saturday. But being the kind of person i am, u gotta stay on friday and sunday too. U just have to.So this time around, we kind of mindlessly went there, but one great thing we did was book a hotel at the heart of Georgetown (SUMMERTREE HOTEL). Because of that we were able to walk all around Georgetown to the major attractions as well as stumble upon a bunch of hidden gems. For someone who enjoys art, sightseeing and stuff like that, it would be such a joy to just randomly stumble across a beautiful secluded area and what not. To be honest, most of the time, we had no plan. The only plan we had involved eating. So, it was spontaneous yet filled with splendid surprise kind of trip.

Friday, 3rd November 2017

Got to penang by flight, obviously air asia, for th price of like RM60 probably. Arrived around 2.30 pm and directly checked into our hotel. Once we're done settling in, we went out for the hunt of good food. Mind you, we were starving cause we hadn't eaten lunch yet. So my brother suggested a new place for nasi kandar which he says, in terms of taste, this place wins compared to the overly famous ones like nasi kandar beratur, line clear and what not. SO we went there and god, people were lining up and when we finally got our plates, it was a heavenly taste for my palate. it was AWESOME ! loved it so much. Totally forgot to mention the name, it's DEEN MAJU 

Obviously along the way we stopped at multiple random streets and stuff. Perks of going on foot.


Next stop was a chendol place suggested by our Uber driver. and man was it a great decision to follow his suggestion. The chendol itself was yummy, the santan or coconut milk used has a roasted taste to it which goes really well with the brown sugar and stuff. Really creamy and delicious. A lot of people were lining up here as well, and some them ate while standing, but not us, we are refined woman who looks for chairs. bluerghh

 And after the good chendol we went and just walked everywhere randomly and found the common attacrtion of course, street arts and what not, also beautiful hidden places that we never heard about. so it was a great exercise to burn all the food we vacuumed in earlier.

Good old street art

 Garden somewhere near Armenian street

Random Lorong

Coffee brewing


Last but not least before retreating we looked for a drink and stumble upon this place called Tea Kadai which serves milk tea using 100% fresh cow milk. And they are not kidding with their tea okayy ? the only word i can use to explain the tea is super light, i took the iced one so i dunno if the hot one would taste the same or not. but as far as i can expect i bet it's all super light. I think it would be a really good thirst quenching kind of drink.

Okay, that's it
i pray i have the strength to write the next part.

P/S i know i have the most random pictures ever, but its juts how i like it
so yeah, skidaddel.

Saturday, November 11, 2017

Random rants: Hollow

It's sad, when u feel like an outsider at a place which was once considered home,
It's sad, how for once it was actually a source of happiness but not anymore,
It's sad.
But what's even sadder, is acting like you see a ray of hope when there isn't even the slightest glimmer in sight.
There's no hope for it to become home again,
There's no hope for it to become happiness again,
So stop it.
Stop acting like there's hope when there isn't any.
The pain and hollowness is just
Too real to push away,
Too harsh to bury,
Yet so beautiful to throw away.
Thus it dangles around,
With just a thin thread,
On the verge of breaking,
Yet never broken.

Sunday, October 1, 2017

Random rants: Empathy


"the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.the ability to understand and share the feelings of another."

so hi assalamualaikum

after a really long weekend of doing nothing, i am finally in the mood for work (so last minute already), its currently 10pm on a Monday night, like woahh, time flies.

Anyways the first thing that i wanted to do before really getting into work was update my blog, its been to long honeyhhhh. I've been neglecting it for way too long. why ? its because i lost my purpose, i forgot why i started my blog in the first place. i forgot how to enjoy just typing away nonsense and nobody caring, i forgot about the joy that writing gave me. but now that i am at my wits end with no push to move forward, i keep looking for something to do, something to keep me sane, to keep me grounded, to make sure i remember who i am, and here i am, back at writing

so yeah, that was on long intro. back to my point about empathy. today of all days from personal experience and others peoples story, i came to realize how important empathy is. we all should be treating people with empathy and we deserve to be treated with empathy as well, well of course that is up to a certain extent. but i am not here to define that extent, all i want to talk about is empathy itself. i may not be someone with empathy but i hope by talking about it i may become someone with empathy and maybe help others become a person with a more empathetic view.

The point here is, we can never know why a person acts or do things a certain way, we will never know what the root for mistakes are for everyone, at the end of the day, people make mistakes, people are flawed and we wont know the reason, we may know yet not understand the circumstances that people are experiencing. so to a certain extent, you should give people a chance, give them the space of " maybe he has something going on right now", and "maybe she's have some issues at home" and so many other things. just open up your  heart and allow yourself to be vulnerable to these possible thoughts before judging and making up your mind. You could be in a hard situation and imagine everyone treating you strictly with no empathy at all, and just with one flaw, your image is decided. 

give people that space, that deserved treatment, and surely Allah will give you the same.

i know what i'm saying doesn't really make sense right now, if you understand what empathy is, than that's enough cause i just suck at giving examples.

mind you, i haven't been writing in  while so i am rusted and busted.

that's it


Wednesday, February 22, 2017

Random rants: Caring for someone

I think when you really care about someone, you truly want what's best for them.

You smile when they laugh, celebrate their wins and suffer together through the losses.

You adore the moments you share and give them enough space to be free.

But part of wanting what's best for another may involve accepting that your paths are no longer intertwined. 

It's not to say that the moments you hd aren't real, but rather coming to terms with the inevitable truth that sometimes showing someone how much you love them means letting them go. 

- Evan Sanders, The Better Man Project

I love everything this guy says, this is one of the harsh reality but we need to learn to come to terms with.
Everything that happens in life act as a lesson to build us, as a person.
So embrace what has happened in the past, what is happening now and what will come in the future.
Remember, life is wonderful and beautiful, eventhough you can't see it sometimes.